Your Favorite Funny Blog is Five

Two weeks ago, I got spooked by the WordPress notification that your favorite funny blog (just kidding, I mean this one) was celebrating its five-year anniversary. Five years is a long time. Five years is nearly a quarter of my life, as I started this humor blog a dumb high school junior and now am a dumb college senior. Five years is the difference between a newborn baby and a monster. Five years is the time it takes avocados to ripen.

So, instead of, I don’t know, buying myself a celebratory cake like a normal person, I finally bought the domain. I figured I’d finally earned it. I guess I’d held out for all this time because I hadn’t expected I could commit. Which got me thinking—what things in my life have I not been able to stick to as long as Nicole Sundays?

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What This Stupid Humor Blog Has Outlasted

  1. My attempts to get any inbox to Inbox Zero.

Like the end of the world, finally clearing out my inbox is one of those things that possibly could happen but that I likely will not live to see.

  1. My residence in any city since the 2nd grade

I lived in Plano, TX from birth to around 7 years old, and after that, I haven’t stayed for longer than four years in a single city. Mom also moves houses on average once a year.

  1. My loveless relationship with Cat.

Since I met her around a month after starting this humor blog, my relationship with my cat is basically my longest proximal relationship with anyone other than my mom. I thought maybe my proximity and availability for petting would eventually win Cat’s affection, but not even Stockholm syndrome is working in my favor.

  1. The retention of anything I’ve learned in a classroom.

I recently had to take what was basically my fourth biology class to date because of inflexible core and program requirements, and the whole class was just useless déjà vu—I remembered everything to the extent that I’d once learned the information but not the actual information.

And it’s not just content I’ve lost from the classroom. I also have retained neither the ability to sit through 90-minute lectures nor the same motivation to try.

  1. A stable identity and/or personality.

You very well might not think my writing is comedic now, but we can all agree (taking my word WITHOUT digging through old posts, thank you) that it’s better than it used to be. When I started Nicole Sundays, I tried so hard to be funny I may have faked my way into writing humor. Now, it’s habit for me to first perceive the humor in situations, but I wonder if this tendency would’ve occurred naturally otherwise.

Or is it even possible to have a “personality?” You don’t even really keep the same body throughout your life. I know the “you have a different body every 7 years” myth has been debunked, but human body cells are still largely replaced every 10 years, so you literally are not the same person anymore.

Obviously, that things change and that you change are commonly accepted truths about growing up, but my aging humor blog gets me thinking about things I’ve lost and will lose to time. While I learn to come to terms with that, though, I find some solace in the things that have stuck with me, that I have been at longer than five years.

I still cannot run for longer than four minutes without my heart giving out. I continue to hate my hobby of writing. I’m still in the “process” of reading The Sun Also Rises. And I’m still here.

Thanks for being here, too.

In other news, I’ve decided my goal is to have this humor blog show up when you search “funny blogs to read when bored and on the toilet.” I will also accept “popular personal blogs to read” or “sarcastic blogs about life.” Thus, I’m including all of these phrases at the bottom of every post until at least one comes true.

Please consider following this blog via email and/or liking its Facebook page, where I post occasional life updates and quality excuses for the lack of said life updates. Oh, and find me on Instagram and Twitter, too.

Last post: 13 Things I Still Haven’t Learned In College